31st sigh

[slave_of_suzumiya]

[Kyon has decided to pick up the phone after noticing something... odd out on the streets.]

Hey, uh... Not to seem too concerned or anything, but from what I can tell, the town seems to have a tiny outbreak of the living dead. Anyone willing to fill me in on what the hell might be going on out there?

I mean, I'd rather not let my life turn into Dawn of the Dead or a game of Resident Evil here.

Comments

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

[And then Yuki was ringing the doortbell. ...It only takes five seconds her to ring a second time instead of five minutes so it must be urgent.]

[slave_of_suzumiya]

(Urk! That better not be a zombie. ... Then again, do zombies use doorbells? I suppose I better check it out.)

Nagato! Hey, nice timing, I guess. ... You saw the zombies, right?

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

.....Requesting permission to utilize defense tactics.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Uh, sure. What kind of defence are we talking here?

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

Detection of infrared radiation and carbon dioxide emissions are the means by which they hunt. Shielding must be provided.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Right so that's uh... breathing and body temperature then?

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

[Yuki nods. Evidently, she feels this is self-explanatory. Kyon must stop breathing and also needs to sit in an ice bath all day.]

[slave_of_suzumiya]

... Nagato, I'm not sure whether or not you've actually noticed, but without even bringing up the issue of my body temperature, it's somewhat difficult to stop breathing and on the of chance that I do, I'll likely end up suffocating.

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

[Oh. Humans. ...Yuki blinks once before continuing on smoothly.]

Then, they will need to be masked in a different manner. The breakdown of such waste products may be accelerated to prevent detection.

((Are you alright with Yuki's nanomachines? It's totally fine if you have other plans and you'd prefer not to.))

[notawhale.livejournal.com]

At least they appear to be the slow kind.

But we can probably assume they're highly infectious.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Yeah, I'd rather not get close enough to one to figure that out.

[notawhale.livejournal.com]

They're pretty easy to observe... as long as you make sure you always have a clear path back to a safe house.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Well sure, but then you need a foolproof way to make sure the path stays clear.

[notawhale.livejournal.com]

I mainly meant staying close enough that you can run back before a zombie gets in the way, but I guess fire could work.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

I'm still thinking it'd be safer to observe them from inside a house, or even better, a tank, than going outside to observe then.

[notawhale.livejournal.com]

Well, if any of them wander up to your window. Some things you can only see in the field though.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Like their astounding lack of personal hygiene?

[secretgod.livejournal.com]

[HEY KYON HEY KYON can Haruhi knock on your door before she waits ten seconds for you to open it or else....]

[slave_of_suzumiya]

... Haruhi. Hi.

You're aware that there's zombies on the loose, right?

[secretgod.livejournal.com]

Of course I do! [Can't you see her beaming happily?] Isn't this exciting?!

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Haruhi, zombies. Aliens, time travellers and espers are all good and fine, but zombies are most unequivocally something that goes in the bad things column.

[secretgod.livejournal.com]

It doesn't matter. [Haruhi pouts somewhat, before giving a small puff, looking away angrily.] Besides, a supernatural event is a supernatural event! It's out of the ordinary, and even if zombies are the bad guys, it gives me a shot to play the hero!

[slave_of_suzumiya]

And what happens when the zombies go ahead and eat your brains? Because there's no way I can help you out of that one.

[secretgod.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, don't worry! I've researched enough on zombies to know their weaknesses, so everything will be fine!

[slave_of_suzumiya]

I don't think the Brigade having a "zombie movie night" that one time really counts as being "research".