31st sigh

[slave_of_suzumiya]

[Kyon has decided to pick up the phone after noticing something... odd out on the streets.]

Hey, uh... Not to seem too concerned or anything, but from what I can tell, the town seems to have a tiny outbreak of the living dead. Anyone willing to fill me in on what the hell might be going on out there?

I mean, I'd rather not let my life turn into Dawn of the Dead or a game of Resident Evil here.

Comments

[notawhale.livejournal.com]

I mainly meant staying close enough that you can run back before a zombie gets in the way, but I guess fire could work.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

I'm still thinking it'd be safer to observe them from inside a house, or even better, a tank, than going outside to observe then.

[notawhale.livejournal.com]

Well, if any of them wander up to your window. Some things you can only see in the field though.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Like their astounding lack of personal hygiene?

[notawhale.livejournal.com]

More like behavior, how they interact with each other... and their victims.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Yeah, I'd rather not take a look at who out of the neighbours is getting devoured by zombies.

[notawhale.livejournal.com]

Squeamish already? Well, I guess that's normal.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

What can I say? I'm a pretty normal guy.

[notawhale.livejournal.com]

That's a pretty detrimental attribute in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. Well, unless you're the really normal so you're relatable main character.

Do you have an unrequited love interest that seems to be way out of your league?

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Perhaps, although I'm not sure if there's anyone I'd designate as a "love interest".

(Well, perhaps Miss Asahina... But she isn't exactly here in Mayfield, so...)

[notawhale.livejournal.com]

Guess youre chances of survival are 50-50 then. Well, if we're pretending that common plot devices in movies have any bearing on real life.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Well, I'm guessing that the 50% chance of me surviving is probably somewhat better if I don't actually go near the zombies at all.

[notawhale.livejournal.com]

No, if you do something as stupid as try to go near them, your death is more or less assured as one of the less interesting or eccentric members of the cast. Unless you do it to rescue someone. Then your chances of being the main character increase.

So don't go outside unless you're going to heroically save someone's life.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Sounds like a plan.

(I'll probably have to stop Haruhi doing anything stupid anyway.)

[notawhale.livejournal.com]

Good. Well, we'll see who managed to avoid dying when this is all over. At least we don't have to worry about permanence. I doubt the ones in control will tolerate this for too long.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Provided they aren't the ones doing it at least.

[notawhale.livejournal.com]

Even if they are, they'll get bored of it, I'm betting.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Yeah, I'd give it a week. Maybe a week and a half at most.

[notawhale.livejournal.com]

I wonder how food supplies will last. Given the simulated nature of this place, will the grocers actually run out of food and such?

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Who knows? This place tends to be somewhat unpredictable in general, so...

[notawhale.livejournal.com]

I guess it'd be in theme for things like that to suddenly become rationed.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Yeah, that's just what we need right now.

[notawhale.livejournal.com]

What's an apocalypse without the sudden, pressing need to resort to cannibalism?

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Thank you for that disturbing mental image.

[notawhale.livejournal.com]

You're welcome. Just remember to keep someone softer and weaker than you close by when the food starts to run out.