31st sigh

[slave_of_suzumiya]

[Kyon has decided to pick up the phone after noticing something... odd out on the streets.]

Hey, uh... Not to seem too concerned or anything, but from what I can tell, the town seems to have a tiny outbreak of the living dead. Anyone willing to fill me in on what the hell might be going on out there?

I mean, I'd rather not let my life turn into Dawn of the Dead or a game of Resident Evil here.

Comments

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Right, because dying and being dead are incredibly exciting.

(... And in case you didn't notice Haruhi, that was sarcasm.)

[secretgod.livejournal.com]

[... As if she didn't notice] So, you want me to feed you to the zombies right now?

[slave_of_suzumiya]

I'm saying it'd be stupid to go out there and engage them. Look... how about when this is all over, we hang out with some aliens instead?

[secretgod.livejournal.com]

-- wait, really? [BAH]

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Sure, why not?

[secretgod.livejournal.com]

Don't tell me that your friends are aliens...

[slave_of_suzumiya]

No, but I'm pretty sure there's at least a few of them in town. ... Like say, The Doctor. In fact, the way I understand it, he's some kind of time travelling alien...

[secretgod.livejournal.com]

You know a time travelling alien?!

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Yeah, we've spoken a few times.

(In fact, you used to live with him a while back, but that's a whole other story...)

[secretgod.livejournal.com]

You have to show me!

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Right, but only if you promise not to get us eaten by zombies, okay? You have to stay out of trouble for now.

[secretgod.livejournal.com]

I'm not going to just sit around and ignore them, Kyon.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Do you want to meet an alien time traveller or not? Because it's either that or risk getting eaten by zombies.

[secretgod.livejournal.com]

... Why do you even care?

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Because I'd rather not have either of us ending up dead. Or worse, undead.

[secretgod.livejournal.com]

I already told you that you don't have to worry about that! Besides, zombies are an easy-kill!

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Do you know how many bites it takes for a zombie to kill you? One. We might as well be fighting an army of venomous snakes.

[secretgod.livejournal.com]

Tsk, tsk, tsk - you've already forgotten that zombies are also ridiculously slow!

[slave_of_suzumiya]

And what if you end up surrounded? They're already dead, so killing them in one hit isn't always easy.

[secretgod.livejournal.com]

That's why I did my research!

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Really?

[secretgod.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't be the brigade chief if I was lying.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

So, what are the fruits of your research then, Chief?

[secretgod.livejournal.com]

I already told you, it's a secret. For the Brigade Chief's ears only!

[slave_of_suzumiya]

...

[Dammit Haruhi, just... Just this face.]