34th adventure

[slave_of_suzumiya]

(... Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm not often quite this explicit with my language, but I think it's safe to say that this situation warrants a "fuck". Or several as has been the case. Darkness, all around me, nothing but darkness... What was the last thing I just did? I went to bed, didn't I? Why haven't I woken up yet? I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm still asleep here. It'd be nice if I at least had a dream to keep me occupied here. Trying to wake up isn't any use... No matter how hard I focus, there's this odd, incredibly gross, gooey feeling that breaks my concentration. It's as if there's an active force keeping me trapped here...)

[Meanwhile... in school today, people may notice Kyon being more studious in class, or seeming more cheerful than usual...

Feel free to encounter him anywhere you might expect to see Kyon during the day, at home, in the schoolyard, the SOS Brigade clubroom, walking down the street, in the park as he'll likely greet you with a pleasant...]

Yo, nice day, huh?

[Alternatively, somewhere in town you may find an odd looking pod... Do you dare to open it up?]

Comments

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

[And the door slowly swings open...]

[slave_of_suzumiya]

[Immediately upon opening the door, the other Kyon, who is now talking to Haruhi, turns to look and launches to attack the original behind Yuki.]

Oh crap!

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

[Intercepting a normal human -- well, alien -- wasn't exactly in the range of intercepting laser beams. Yuki's movements are too quick to observe, but she's between the two Kyons in a blink of an eye.]

Stop.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

[And so the copy speaks up...]

Darn it Nagato, out of my way.

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

That is impossible.

There is no possibility for you to prevail. Your existence is ephemeral.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Really, is that so?

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

No incident has lasted beyond the interval of seven days. Neither will you.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

[The original pipes up.]

Right! We don't want any trouble now, so just get out of here!

[And the copy will reply...]

And why should I do that? I've just been going about my day, until Nagato locks me in a room and turns up with... Well, you! You whatever you are!

[... Yeah, he's not going to admit he's the fake here.]

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

.........
......
...

[...Sigh. Nagato has nothing to say to that.]

SUP GUYS

[secretgod.livejournal.com]

Both of you! Stop being idiots, or you'll both get penalties! [Or she'll dropkick you both. :|]

[slave_of_suzumiya]

[Once again, piping up from the back...]

Hey, uh... Nagato. So she's an alien too, right?

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

[Yuki will nod in response. To Kyon, not pod!Haruhi.]

The release of Haruhi Suzumiya will be negotiated.

[secretgod.livejournal.com]

[WATCHING BOTH OF YOU SUSPICIOUSLY.... she's not going to say anything just yet]

[slave_of_suzumiya]

So how are we supposed to go about this?

[After the real Kyon asks this, having determined himself unable to attack his original with Nagato in the way, the doppelganger will move back again to the other side or the room.]

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

..........Once Haruhi Suzumiya is released, the duplicates will be allowed to leave freely.

[There doesn't seem to be much negotiating there.]

[secretgod.livejournal.com]

What are you guys talking about? [As she let's a small 'hmph,' she'll fold her arms accordingly.]

[slave_of_suzumiya]

I think I'll leave this to you if you don't mind, Nagato.

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

...

Haruhi Suzumiya would have expressed an immeasurable quantity of surprise at the appearance of two identical students, gleefully declared that one was an evil clone, and begun peppering both with increasingly impossible questions in order to determine which was the original individual.

You are not Haruhi Suzumiya.

[secretgod.livejournal.com]

Huh?

What kind of stupid deduction is that?! Besides, it isn't like I've been here long enough to know a lot of people like that! [She then pouts slightly folding her arms] And even if I did, I haven't seen two of anybody besides the two Kyons here - and it's blatantly obvious that this one [and she points to the pod!Kyon] is the fake.

But... I don't think they're evil clones at all! [And she's beaming] You're the one that's wrong, Yuki. Do you think I haven't seen the UFO this morning? And the fact that Mayfield is full of weird and unusual stuff makes this all the more exciting!

That's why, with the weird UFO, the weird... goo that's on Kyon, and a whole bunch of other factors, I, the Ultra Detective, Suzumiya Haruhi, have deduced that they're not evil clones at all! They're aliens from outer space!

Of course, everyone could be considered an 'alien' in this Mayfield, but from the viewpoint of Mayfield - as Earth - isn't it obvious that these guys are aliens? [And yes, she said that with bolstering confidence.] I don't think they're evil at all, either. They're just misunderstood.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

H-hey! What do you mean I'm the fake!?

[Why are you selling out your comrades!?

And with a sigh, the real one will say...]

... Y'know Nagato, I'm not going to suggest that she's the real thing as there's definitely something off about her, but that does kind of sound like something she might actually say.

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

...

You were alone in this room with the 'fake' for an indeterminate period of time. You expressed no surprise at seeing the second Kyon. Further prevarication is pointless.

[secretgod.livejournal.com]

So? Weird things happen here all the time, right? There's no need for me to be surprised at just this. I've met a girl who's amazingly moe but has these cute wings, and a witch with a cat tail!

And besides - I wanted to interrogate this fake after he started being more than just plain sarcastic.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

... Nagato, I don't think we're making any progress here.

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

[Kyon will receive a slight nod. Words were always preferable before action.]

...We are finished.

[Kyon will recognize the noise that emits from Yuki's mouth, but perhaps he will be too busy goggling at the fact that the clubroom floor and walls are melting.]

[secretgod.livejournal.com]

Huh? [And she’ll be looking baffled, as if she doesn’t know who is actually doing this, or what exactly is happening- and in truth, she’ll even glare at the fake Kyon before freaking out slightly.] What’s going on?! Why is the clubroom being melted –

[But then she shakes her head, attempting to be optimistic. After all, if they melt the clubroom, they’ll never find the real Haruhi, who’s still actually hiding in the clubroom.] But that doesn’t matter! This is really exciting! Hey, Kyon #1, you’re doing this, right?

[Yes, she’s talking to you, pod!Kyon…

And why is pod!Kyon number one? It’s because he showed up in the clubroom first.]

… Could you please stop it, though? You’re ruining the clubroom.