slave_of_suzumiya | 34th adventure

(... Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm not often quite this explicit with my language, but I think it's safe to say that this situation warrants a "fuck". Or several as has been the case. Darkness, all around me, nothing but darkness... What was the last thing I just did? I went to bed, didn't I? Why haven't I woken up yet? I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm still asleep here. It'd be nice if I at least had a dream to keep me occupied here. Trying to wake up isn't any use... No matter how hard I focus, there's this odd, incredibly gross, gooey feeling that breaks my concentration. It's as if there's an active force keeping me trapped here...)

[Meanwhile... in school today, people may notice Kyon being more studious in class, or seeming more cheerful than usual...

Feel free to encounter him anywhere you might expect to see Kyon during the day, at home, in the schoolyard, the SOS Brigade clubroom, walking down the street, in the park as he'll likely greet you with a pleasant...]

Yo, nice day, huh?

[Alternatively, somewhere in town you may find an odd looking pod... Do you dare to open it up?]

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... Nice job. What now?

Negotiation.

[The doppelganger Haruhi pouts, folding her arms and glaring at both the real Kyon as well as Yuki, tapping her right foot impatiently.] Negotiate? Don’t be ridiculous.

What exactly are you going to negotiate with? [She then speaks rudely, giving a mischievous smile.] You don’t plan to cut open this mysterious pod that I’ve been hiding, do you? Only an idiot would do that.

But… [and her mischievous smile turns into a more innocent, yet excited one] since you’re my precious brigade members, I’ll allow negotiations. But you have to give me something spectacular, amazing, out of the norm to get it!

Or maybe you’d like to play a little game~

A "game"?

[Yuki says nothing. The shifting psychodelic colors of the non-classroom around them begin to settle back into their normal state, however.]

That's right! [And even more of a smirk...] Like Strip 21, or something like that.

Strip 21, huh?

[Yuki merely stares. Whatever Strip 21 was, it apparently wasn't in her lexicon.]

Yeah, that's right. [She smiles innocently, and then looks at the table] There's a deck of cards over there. It's basically the same as regular 21, but the losers have to strip one article of clothing each time they lose!

After several rounds, there should be only two people left, so... pretty much after everyone gets naked except for the winner, that person gets the prize.

... You're kidding, right?

I am uncertain as to why that is the task necessary to restore Haruhi Suzumiya.

I still don't get what you're saying, but doing that is more interesting! And finding aliens, time travelers and espers is too simple here, so it's settled!

[... Okay, facepalm.]

[Yuki doesn't facepalm. But she maintains the expression of confusion.

Note that neither of them have refused, though.]

So, are you in or out? Of course, this guy [she points to the fake Kyon] won't be playing - so I'm giving you twice the chance to win! You should be lucky to even have such a nice brigade chief!!

Nagato, can't you like... do something to bypass having to deal with this nonsense?

......
...

Life signs indicate that she is not suffering harm. Use of physical force is difficult to justify.

[And the doppelganger gives a mischievous smile, folding her arms and saying without letting her grin drop in the most enthusiastic voice she can muster up:] Besides, what do you have to lose? And don’t say your dignity, that doesn’t count.

(Darn it, if Nagato isn't going to do anything...)

I'll have to take things into my own hands then!

[Kyon suddenly dashes off towards the pod, prompting pod!Kyon to switch back into attack mode now that Nagato wasn't safely blocking the distance between them.]

(Ack, crap!)

[...Well, that changed things a bit. Yuki's eyes flash as her mouth goes into its familiar doubletime mode; whenever pod!Kyon makes contact with Kyon, he will be thrown back by a repulsion field.]

[While you idiots fight, "Haruhi's" just going to go get the pod and carry it.]

You're both being idiots.

Hey, you let go of that!

[Yuki's eyes flicker towards Kyon.]

Negotiations are rejected?

[The fake Haruhi also looks at Kyon, glaring at him angrily] I already told you before: this is property of the brigade, and if you really want it so badly, you have to win it from me!

Yes Nagato, negotiations are rejected!

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