slave_of_suzumiya | 34th adventure

(... Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm not often quite this explicit with my language, but I think it's safe to say that this situation warrants a "fuck". Or several as has been the case. Darkness, all around me, nothing but darkness... What was the last thing I just did? I went to bed, didn't I? Why haven't I woken up yet? I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm still asleep here. It'd be nice if I at least had a dream to keep me occupied here. Trying to wake up isn't any use... No matter how hard I focus, there's this odd, incredibly gross, gooey feeling that breaks my concentration. It's as if there's an active force keeping me trapped here...)

[Meanwhile... in school today, people may notice Kyon being more studious in class, or seeming more cheerful than usual...

Feel free to encounter him anywhere you might expect to see Kyon during the day, at home, in the schoolyard, the SOS Brigade clubroom, walking down the street, in the park as he'll likely greet you with a pleasant...]

Yo, nice day, huh?

[Alternatively, somewhere in town you may find an odd looking pod... Do you dare to open it up?]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...

You were alone in this room with the 'fake' for an indeterminate period of time. You expressed no surprise at seeing the second Kyon. Further prevarication is pointless.

So? Weird things happen here all the time, right? There's no need for me to be surprised at just this. I've met a girl who's amazingly moe but has these cute wings, and a witch with a cat tail!

And besides - I wanted to interrogate this fake after he started being more than just plain sarcastic.

... Nagato, I don't think we're making any progress here.

[Kyon will receive a slight nod. Words were always preferable before action.]

...We are finished.

[Kyon will recognize the noise that emits from Yuki's mouth, but perhaps he will be too busy goggling at the fact that the clubroom floor and walls are melting.]

Huh? [And she’ll be looking baffled, as if she doesn’t know who is actually doing this, or what exactly is happening- and in truth, she’ll even glare at the fake Kyon before freaking out slightly.] What’s going on?! Why is the clubroom being melted –

[But then she shakes her head, attempting to be optimistic. After all, if they melt the clubroom, they’ll never find the real Haruhi, who’s still actually hiding in the clubroom.] But that doesn’t matter! This is really exciting! Hey, Kyon #1, you’re doing this, right?

[Yes, she’s talking to you, pod!Kyon…

And why is pod!Kyon number one? It’s because he showed up in the clubroom first.]

… Could you please stop it, though? You’re ruining the clubroom.

[And Pod!Kyon will turn to Yuki...]

Damn it Nagato, stop this!

[And from behind her, the real one...]

Uh, Nagato... I appreciate that you're doing something, but is there any chance you could explain what the plan is here?

[Explanations were so tedious... Yuki will rattle this out.]

All non-organic material from this space will be asynchronized from normal temporal data summation, resulting in...

[And as the clubroom fades away, Yuki points to where the pod is revealed.]

-- Hey! [She folds her arms angrily.] You don't have to do that you know!

... Nice job. What now?

Negotiation.

[The doppelganger Haruhi pouts, folding her arms and glaring at both the real Kyon as well as Yuki, tapping her right foot impatiently.] Negotiate? Don’t be ridiculous.

What exactly are you going to negotiate with? [She then speaks rudely, giving a mischievous smile.] You don’t plan to cut open this mysterious pod that I’ve been hiding, do you? Only an idiot would do that.

But… [and her mischievous smile turns into a more innocent, yet excited one] since you’re my precious brigade members, I’ll allow negotiations. But you have to give me something spectacular, amazing, out of the norm to get it!

Or maybe you’d like to play a little game~

A "game"?

[Yuki says nothing. The shifting psychodelic colors of the non-classroom around them begin to settle back into their normal state, however.]

That's right! [And even more of a smirk...] Like Strip 21, or something like that.

Strip 21, huh?

[Yuki merely stares. Whatever Strip 21 was, it apparently wasn't in her lexicon.]

Yeah, that's right. [She smiles innocently, and then looks at the table] There's a deck of cards over there. It's basically the same as regular 21, but the losers have to strip one article of clothing each time they lose!

After several rounds, there should be only two people left, so... pretty much after everyone gets naked except for the winner, that person gets the prize.

... You're kidding, right?

I am uncertain as to why that is the task necessary to restore Haruhi Suzumiya.

I still don't get what you're saying, but doing that is more interesting! And finding aliens, time travelers and espers is too simple here, so it's settled!

[... Okay, facepalm.]

[Yuki doesn't facepalm. But she maintains the expression of confusion.

Note that neither of them have refused, though.]

So, are you in or out? Of course, this guy [she points to the fake Kyon] won't be playing - so I'm giving you twice the chance to win! You should be lucky to even have such a nice brigade chief!!