004 - This turkey is nowhere near as cute as Miss Asahina.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

(The doorbell? That's odd... All the doors and windows seem to have locked us inside the house. I wonder who could be outside? Maybe Nagato hacked her way out of her house and decided to see how I was. Or maybe Asakura... Let's see... Still can't open it. Hold it, is that a turkey down there? ... I'm not sure I like the look of the truck out there. Well, I suppose since I've got nothing better to do, I might as well examine the turkey. I don't trust this place enough to consider eating it after turning up like that... Oh god, what is that noise!?)

[Having found a shrieking/sobbing turkey, Kyon attempts to figure out where the noise is from, finds no-one, takes another look at the turkey, then goes to the phone.]

Hello? I think my turkey is crying. How do I shut it up?

(... I never thought I'd be asking for advice about sobbing turkeys.)

Comments

[has-a-name.livejournal.com]

... you should stop taking illegal drugs...

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Believe me, I wish drugs could explain this, however I've never taken an illegal drug in my life.

[has-a-name.livejournal.com]

... oh...

... maybe you should try eating it...

[slave_of_suzumiya]

... You expect me to try eating something that has spent the past several minutes crying at me?

[has-a-name.livejournal.com]

... if it isn't cooked, then you should prepare it properly...

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Or maybe I should just stay away from it? I mean, I don't think I can trust a crying turkey given to me by this place.

[has-a-name.livejournal.com]

... mine was delicious, but it wasn't crying...

...

... you shouldn't let food go to waste...

[slave_of_suzumiya]

So you ate it, just like that? Without even considering that the town might have poisoned it or something?

[has-a-name.livejournal.com]

... I took out the turkey that was inside of it, first...

... and the turkey inside of that one...

... and the turkey inside of that one...

... and the turkey inside of that one...

...

... I have twenty turkeys, and the last one is too small to check if there's more...

[slave_of_suzumiya]

... So your turkey was just filled with more turkeys?

[has-a-name.livejournal.com]

... yes...

[slave_of_suzumiya]

... I'm not sure what to say about that.

[has-a-name.livejournal.com]

... if you don't want a crying turkey, maybe you'd like one of my extra turkeys...?

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

Wait.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Wait for what?

[... And suddenly the turkey stops crying.]

... Did you do that Nagato?

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

No.

An observation based on previous data.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

So, they just stop crying if you give them time?

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

That is what has previously occurred.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

I see. And you managed to gather data on it already?

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

It has been broadcast over the phones.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Still, you never cease to amaze me with how quick you gather this information.

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

Observation and analysis. That is my duty.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

I wasn't aware that your analysis extended to Thanksgiving turkeys?

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

All unusual incidents that occur in this town must be recorded. All data that flows through this space must be analyzed. All information that may yield further evidence of importance must be collected.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

I suppose these things could possibly help us figure out a way home...