004 - This turkey is nowhere near as cute as Miss Asahina.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

(The doorbell? That's odd... All the doors and windows seem to have locked us inside the house. I wonder who could be outside? Maybe Nagato hacked her way out of her house and decided to see how I was. Or maybe Asakura... Let's see... Still can't open it. Hold it, is that a turkey down there? ... I'm not sure I like the look of the truck out there. Well, I suppose since I've got nothing better to do, I might as well examine the turkey. I don't trust this place enough to consider eating it after turning up like that... Oh god, what is that noise!?)

[Having found a shrieking/sobbing turkey, Kyon attempts to figure out where the noise is from, finds no-one, takes another look at the turkey, then goes to the phone.]

Hello? I think my turkey is crying. How do I shut it up?

(... I never thought I'd be asking for advice about sobbing turkeys.)

Comments

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

. . . It is inadvisable to consume it. Please do not touch it again.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Not even to throw it into the trash?

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

No.

I will dispose of it tomorrow.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Right. Well, you know best after all...

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

The remainder of the Thanksgiving meal is safe for consumption. Do not concern yourself with the turkeys.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

That's good to know. I'll make sure to avoid any other turkeys I see then.

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

That is the safest course of action.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

So Nagato, have you had any personal encounters with these turkeys?

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

Severed head stuffing.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Severed head stuffing?

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

Yes.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Were they severed turkey heads, or...?

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

Ah. Yes.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Well, at least they weren't human heads or anything...

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

[Yuki blinks. As she's understood by now that her normal silence doesn't work too well over the phone, she feels obligated after a short period of time to supplement with]

Yes.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

And this is still pretty tame compared the the kinds of things they usually pull in this place, isn't it?

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

Yes.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

So that means it'll be even rougher than this once they decide to get serious...

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

. . . The activities on holidays are generally more light-hearted in nature.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

This is considered "light-hearted" in nature? Seriously?

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

. . .

Yes.

... It amuses me how Kyon can somehow carry this conversation when half Yuki's responses are "Yes."

[slave_of_suzumiya]

I'd hate to see their idea of something serious then.

Pretty much how it happens in canon, =P

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

. . . It may be best if you examined the data that has been collected up to this point concerning the previous incidents occurring in this town.

That is quite true.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

I'm not sure I'd be able to handle reading pages upon pages of long and possibly gruesome reports about what this place has done?

[bogusmagicker.livejournal.com]

It is advised.

Highly.