39th sigh

[slave_of_suzumiya]

[Kyon is sitting on a park bench with his cat Shamisen next to him. He appears to be looking at something he got as a regain...]

Okay, holiday photos, a few changes of clothes... That's all fine but, what the heck is this thing supposed to be!?

It appears to be a mummified kappa.

(Please tell me that voice just now wasn't...)

... What, cat got your tongue?

I don't need you cracking bad puns! And don't talk!

Ahem... Meow?

Comments

[tosurpassgod]

Yeah! My friend has a talking cat back home. Except his can transform into a really hot chick! With a huge rack and everything!

[slave_of_suzumiya]

... Huh.

Well, I'm afraid I'm just an ordinary non-transforming cat.

(You call talking ordinary!?)

[tosurpassgod]

[Black☆Star peers at the cat]

Do you at least have a gender? Because the last talking cat I met didn't call itself a he or a she.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Despite being a calico, I am very much male, which makes me quite the rare specimen.

(... Sure, talk about your colour as a rare trait.)

[tosurpassgod]

[Sorry Kyon, you're totally being ignored as he carries on a conversation with your cat]

So all you can do is be a cat? No transforming or seeing people's souls or anything?

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Right, I'm just an ordinary house cat.

[tosurpassgod]

[Headtilt]

Then why can you talk?

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Well, I...

It's a long story. Which doesn't need to be shared right now.

[tosurpassgod]

[Oh right that other guy is here]

Why not? It's not like you're doing anything else.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Well, there I was sitting in the alley one day when this girl picked me up and said that I should appear in her movie...

It really isn't all that interesting you know...

[tosurpassgod]

[Too late - he drops down and sits cross-legged in front of the bench, listening intently to the cat]

Then what?

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Well, then she went off to do something and I spoke to her friends.

... Kind of anti-climatic, huh?

[tosurpassgod]

[Anti-climactic? He feels gypped!]

But why can you talk?!

[slave_of_suzumiya]

How can you be sure that all cats don't talk and you just don't hear them speaking? Conversely, how can you be sure that I'm actually understanding and responding to what you say or that you're just interpreting the noises I'm making as such?

(... Oh boy, I just love when it becomes philosophical time.)

[tosurpassgod]

[Black☆Star does about as well with the philosophical as dead trees do with fire]

I'm sure because I've heard talking cats, and I've heard cats that can't talk! And YOU are a talking cat! Stop trying to screw with my head!

[slave_of_suzumiya]

And how is it that you know that the other cats can't talk?

[tosurpassgod]

Because they don't! And if a cat as boring as you has something to say, then there isn't anything stopping other cats from talking!

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Just because you haven't seen someone do something, it does not mean that they are incapable of doing it.

(... I think it's safer for me to steer clear of this conversation.)

[tosurpassgod]

[What little patience he has is essentially gone, and he shoots a look at Kyon. It's his cat, after all]

Tell your cat he's full of it! Other cats can't talk!

[slave_of_suzumiya]

It's probably a good idea to just ignore what he has to say.

Oh come on, that's a bit harsh, isn't it?

I thought I told you to be quiet already.

[tosurpassgod]

[Black☆Star stands up - he's done with you, kitty. Kyon, your turn for the attention]

Then you tell me. Why can he talk? Is he secretly a demon? Or a witch?

[The look in his eye when he says that is a good indication you may want to say 'no']

[slave_of_suzumiya]

He's just a normal cat, then some idiot with powers far beyond ours happened to decide that it might be cool if cats could talk. ... They were wrong.