014 - Reigniting an old flame that I didn't even know had burnt....

[slave_of_suzumiya]

(It's not everyday one receives a package like this from Mayfield. In fact, the only time you ever tend to receive one is when they decide to let you have something from home. Now, I digress briefly to think about Sasaki, an old friend from my time in middle school. The two of us had been rather close, and I sometimes wondered why we hadn't taken it further ignoring her general opinion of love as being "a form of illness". I suppose you could consider me to be somewhat of a romantic at heart, but regardless of much of the cynicism I've gathered over the years, I always had at least some belief in the idea of love. It was nothing quite as cheesy as those cheap romance novels or shoujo manga, but something. A small thing. Of course, during my time in this life, I had never been quite so lucky to experience the joy of having a romantic relationship with a nice girl. Or so I had thought until I opened the new package that arrived. And suddenly the memories came back of the true relationship I had shared with Sasaki... That I was sharing with Sasaki. The relationship which had managed to continue even as we had gone to different high schools and I became involved with the SOS Brigade. How could I have forgotten something like this? This was a major part of my life! Regardless, I had to know whether or not my not-so-new girlfriend had discovered the truth or was still in the dark as I had been...)

[Phone: Filtered to Sasaki]

Hey, uh... Sasaki, can we talk? Preferably in person. I suppose you could say I've remembered something important?

Comments

[phone -> action]

[cramschoolgod.livejournal.com]

[A pause. A very long pause. A pause that oversteps the boundaries of pauses and turns into a full-blown lull.]

Ah......

Yes, Kyon-kun-- ah. Yes. That would be for the best. I... I'll come over.

[phone -> action]

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Right. Try not to take too long?

[And so with the call over he waits for Sasaki to arrive...]

[cramschoolgod.livejournal.com]

[Sasaki walks over rather hurriedly, her mind turning over in turmoil, barely even observing a few strange phenomena around her--a dog talking? Something. It isn't important. What is important is frankly analyzing what has gone wrong with her. Her head is down and she feels an unfamiliar feeling of warmth in her cheeks. How can she mistrust her own memories? Even the mentally ill must trust their own perceptions, that's what gives the sting to schizophrenia and speaking of schizophrenia how did she possibly allow herself to give in to Kyon-kun's--Kyon's!--admiration, no matter how valuable she found his unique abilities and his pleasantness and walks under the cherry trees by the river, sitting on the bench...

Unexpectedly, she found herself at his door already. No use prolonging this. She decisively rapped on the door.]

If I am slow in any way, just know that I am drowning in Ash tags?

[slave_of_suzumiya]

[And answering the door...]

Ah, Sasaki, come on in...

[He wasn't sure exactly how to begin. How does one handle something like this? Do they go straight back to the way things were? Are there other steps involved? It was certainly complicated...]

it's okay. i'll be in and out for a while too

[cramschoolgod.livejournal.com]

[Sasaki enters. Her usually-steady steps are hesitant, and she seems to be avoiding his gaze.]

Kyon-kun...

Ah… hello. I’m glad—it’s good to see you. [Well, she’s certainly not going to bring up something she’s mortified over. And certainly certainly not going to think about whether she wants to—Kyon-kun looks nervous, too…]

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Right, so uh... Do you my any chance remember our...?

[He decides to let the sentence linger there, hoping she can fill in the blank herself. After all, it'd be even more awkward if she didn't.]

[cramschoolgod.livejournal.com]

[Noooope. She’s not going there. She is avoiding there. There is the very witching time of night. All hope abandon, ye who enter there.]

Our homework, Kyon-kun? I’m sorry, I don’t.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

That's not what I'm talking about and you know it. You and me, back home, our... relationship.

[cramschoolgod.livejournal.com]

[Sasaki shifts in her chair uneasily. Normally rather hard to read, she’s rather transparent right now.] I’ve always said that we are very close friends. But as I recall, you’d said that we hadn’t seen each other since middle school graduation.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Perhaps I was somewhat mistaken when I said that...

[And it's getting pretty clear she knows what he's talking about. It's rare to ever see her squirm like this.]

[cramschoolgod.livejournal.com]

Hm. Well... I, yes, I recall a few other meetings. It was a strange thing, Kyon-kun, I received a package in the mail, and when I opened it--well, there is the fallacy post hoc ergo propter hoc, which points out that my observation of a correlation between my opening the package and my regaining certain memories doesn't mean that one caused the other, but it seems so likely. It's the basis for the Humean criticism of reason.

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Right. The package. I was under the impression that we'd only ever gone as far as being good friends, but apparently I was wrong about that.

[cramschoolgod.livejournal.com]

Kyon-kun, I don't... I don't like disbelieving my own memories, but how is it possible that I should suddenly have remembered such -- such things? Even if you remember the same things, why should it happen? Why today, of all days? I feel there must be something strange going on. Our relationship was truly satisfying--ah! I-- I mean our friendship, of course.

[Sasaki's cheeks are tinged with pink as she falls silent for a moment.]

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Well, I certainly wouldn't object to our regular friendship, but... It was quite nice to be able to have something more?

[cramschoolgod.livejournal.com]

You--you...

...I know, Kyon-kun. I'm not so unobservant. And I think, ah... well...

It's strange, isn't it? Someone who you think has gone insane may yet be happier that way, happier even than you, the sane person. I--they are not unpleasant memories, Kyon-kun. But, truly, you don't think anything's strange about them?

[slave_of_suzumiya]

I suppose they are somewhat odd... But it does seem to make a lot of sense?

[cramschoolgod.livejournal.com]

W-well, yes. I can certainly see how an outside observer might have thought how, ah, logical it was. I mean... I know that we -- as I said, we're close friends, and Kyon-kun has many excellent attributes, ah...

[Full-on blushing now as she's thinking about certain memories and kicking herself.]

[slave_of_suzumiya]

Well, I'm sure it probably wouldn't hurt to just go with the flow on this one?

[cramschoolgod.livejournal.com]

[She looks rather as though she agrees, but shakes her head.] A-ah, Kyon-kun, you know how I feel about romance... I... I remember what you told me the first time we... [Nope, words aren't coming out for a while. Then, quietly:]

...perhaps... you're right...

[slave_of_suzumiya]

I know you never had a high opinion of the idea of romance, but we had a lot of good times together.

[And Kyon moves from his current seat so he can go over and sit next to Sasaki.]

[cramschoolgod.livejournal.com]

[She jumps, but doesn't move.]

Yes. I, ah, think there must be something wrong with me. This is how a drug addict feels, that she needs something that is bad for her. She can't even, ...

[She can't look away.]

[slave_of_suzumiya]

[Kyon sighs...]

Are you sure? I mean, it happens naturally with a lot of people who live full, meaningful lives. It means that neither of us are ever alone as long as the other is around... It means, well... It means a lot of things.

[He decides to move his face in a little closer to her...]

[cramschoolgod.livejournal.com]

[In a quiet mumble:]

I don't know if I agree with that, Kyon-kun. But, ah, it... Emerson said, with consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. Which I don't know if I believe either. But, ...

[She blinks, a rather frightened expression on her face, as he comes closer.]

A-ah, Kyon-kun, wait!

[slave_of_suzumiya]

[Oh hey, sudden outburst! He'll stop for a moment.]

... Right, fine. I'm waiting.

[cramschoolgod.livejournal.com]

[She's given up all pretense at not blushing furiously as she rather awkwardly takes a hair tie off her wrist and ties her hair up in a ponytail, carefully avoiding his gaze.]